Four years ago today, my life changed in the most profound way I can imagine: I became a Mama. Four years ago we welcomed my Ava sweetheart into the world and my life changed forever.
The ways our lives have changed in the last four years… it seems such a short time ago, but also so far away I can barely remember what it was like. As Ava is the eldest, I always feel a little guilty that she has had to bear the brunt of our parenting experiments, as we navigate so many firsts together.
I remember right after she was born being so scared and unsure of the decisions I made and how to love her ‘right’. What I have learned (and am still learning) is that as long as I make my choices from a place of love, I can’t really get it too wrong. My sweet Ava is a wonderful teacher. She is patient and kind and forgiving.
Every day I feel lucky to have Ava in my life. And luckier still to be able to say that she is my daughter.
My darling Ava Suzie,
Today is your fourth birthday. I can hardly believe it. How can you be four already? But also, how are you only four?! I have adored watching you blossom this year. Your first year at kindy – making those first steps out into your own world. The friendships you have made are delightful to watch, and it has been amazing to see your confidence grow exponentially.
It has also been so lovely to share more ‘grown up’ moments with you. Some of my favourite times have been those afternoons when the two little ones sleep and we sit next to each other working on our art journals. And, of course, I’ll never forget our very first ‘big girls’ date which we were able to enjoy this winter… you are a pleasure to be around – to talk with and laugh with, and I am so looking forward to seeing our friendship grow.
You became the ‘Biggest’ sister this year… you have two little sisters who think you are the bees knees. Of course you are so kind and gentle with Belle and she adores you. I think you can make her giggle like no one else can! My special joy to behold this year though, has been the friendship that you and Lola have grown. I cannot express how much my heart swells to watch the two of you laugh and giggle and whisper together. It makes me especially proud that you look out for one another and look after one another when one of you is feeling sad, or scared or unsure. I know it won’t be too long before Belle will part of your special sisterhood.
You are my puzzle wizard. A magical story teller with an amazing imagination. A soul that loves to create – to write and draw and make. I love the way you love on your sisters. My heart sings with joy to watch your eyes sparkle when you learn something new.
I so admire the easy way you shower the people you care about with love and laughter and empathy. Thank you for being my helper. For loving me with your open and honest heart. For opening my eyes to the wonder of the world, to the good and the freshness of each day.
My sweet Ava, happy birthday my darling. Today (well, every day, but especially today as I’ll be sending these wishes straight to the birthday fairies!) I wish for you a lifetime of adventure and happiness. A wish that you never lose your hunger for learning and passion for creating. And that as you grow, you will see that your gentle spirit is an amazing gift that you should honour – that your ability to empathise and show kindness are some of your greatest strengths. I am so lucky to be your Mama. I can’t wait to make millions more memories with you. I love you *this* much. Love always and forever, Mama xoxoxo times infinity.